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Parent / Coach /Player Relationship

We are honored to have your child participate with Mariner Jr Football. It is our mission to provide a positive experience for all of our athletes. We hope to instill positive values through the pursuit of victory and fun. This message is intended to aid in the communication between parents and coaches, so that athletes and parents understand the steps they may take to address anything they think is or may become an issue. Good communication is a key ingredient of the positive experience we hope to provide.

What is Expected of Us All:

It is expected that all parties involved with our athletics will demonstrate proper respect for each other. This includes parents, coaches, players, opponents, officials and opposing fans.  

Communication Parents Should Expect From Coaches:

  • The philosophy of the coach.

  • The expectations the coach has of your son or daughter.

  • The locations and times of all practices and contests.

  • Team requirements regarding equipment, and other activities, etc.

  • Codes of conduct and discipline.

  • Notification of liability for any damaged or missing equipment.

Communication Coaches Expect From Parents:

  • Notification of any special concerns such as medical conditions.

  • Notification of any scheduling conflicts in advance.

  • Excuses for an athlete's absence.

  • Concerns are expressed directly to the coach, calmly and fairly.

  • Specific concerns expressed rather than vague or general statements.


Athletics will provide some of the kids most cherished memories and some of their greatest disappointments. This is where the value of competitive sports lies. It can be difficult for parents to be objective, or to stay calm when their kids' emotions are at stake, but honest and reasonable communication resolves most issues.

Decisions Reserved for Coaches:

  • Playing time.

  • Team strategy / play calling.

  • Matters concerning other athletes.

Please remember that your coaches are volunteers, with jobs, families and whole lives. Only one person is the head coach, and that person holds the right to exercise the stewardship of that job. Rarely is a parent or fan aware of all the factors that come to play in the above-mentioned kind of decisions. Conferences between parents and coaches on the above issues may still be helpful, but it is necessary for each party to understand the other person's concerns and where their prerogatives begin and end.

Appropriate Concerns to Discuss With Coaches:

  • The treatment of your child, mentally and physically.

  • Ways to help your athlete improve.

  • Concerns about your athlete's behavior.

If You Have A Concern to Discuss With A Coach, please follow these procedures:

  • If the concern starts with your son/daughter, they should speak to the coach first. If a phone call will suffice, please call the coach in question.

  • If you are unable to meet with the coach. If the coach doesn't give a timely response, please contact a board member.

(Please don't approach a coach before practice, or before/after a game. These are busy and emotional times, and meetings at these times usually are not as helpful.)


The Next Step:

What can a parent do if a face-to-face meeting with a coach does not provide satisfactory resolution?

-Call or email the President or Vice-President to discuss the situation. (At this point, additional steps will be decided upon, if necessary.)

Ideal traits of Parents of Athletes:

  • Recognize that this is youth sports! It's not the Super Bowl. Kids are learning fundamentals and sportsmanship.

  • Attend events often.

  • Accept the athlete's goals and don't impose their own.

  • Surrender their athlete to the coaches and the team.

  • Give athletes time and space after games.

  • Focus on the team, not the individual.

  • Attempt to relieve pressure, not increase it.

  • Accept the outcomes and don't make excuses.

  • Be a positive role model.

  • Let the athlete hear only one "instructional voice" -- The Coach.

  • Let the player and the team solve their own problems as much as possible.

  • Don't forget it's a game and will never be the one to take the fun out of it.

  • Don't let the outcome matter more to them than it does to the athlete.

  • Don't let their child feel them and the coach are on different sides. (That's a lose-lose choice for the athlete.)

  • Remember that the only guarantee is that it won't be a perfect season... the value of athletics lies in its ability to let youth experience real triumph and real defeat, self-discipline, dependence upon a team, and to learn from the whole experience.

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